Beautiful Beast
Beautiful Beast
Those Other Books
Roe Horvat
Contents
Blurb
Warning
Acknowledgments
1. Meet Cute
2. Chasing
3. First Kiss
4. Second Kiss
5. Dreaming
6. The Art of Sexting
7. Second Date
8. Morning after
9. Heat from the Fireplace
10. Playing Games
11. The Intricacy of Falling in Love
12. The Wedding
13. The Prince
14. Beauty and the Beast
15. Happily Ever After
Insatiable?
About the Author
Also by Roe Horvat
Beautiful Beast
First edition
Published 2020 by Roe Horvat
Copyright © 2020 Roe Horvat
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, without express written permission.
The licensed art material is being used for illustrative purposes only.
This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or business establishments is coincidental.
Cover art by Black Jack Design, 2020.
Edited by Amy Leibowitz Mitchell, 2020.
Beautiful Beast is a light tale of lust and love, about a beautiful dancer who keeps a wild beast locked inside him, and the man who sets it free.
Kevin used to hold himself back, trying to keep his less conventional desires to himself. With Joakim, he feels free. It’s almost as if Joakim can read Kevin’s subconscious, touching the right places at exactly the right time, and whispering the most shameless things…filthy, and oh so satisfying.
Falling for Kevin is easy. Joakim can feel it happening and he’s powerless to do anything about it. With every touch, his desire grows. Men have chased him for his money and status before, but Kevin doesn’t seem to care about any of that. Maybe this time, Joakim should let himself fall, and hope the landing will be soft.
Warning
The novella contains explicit language and detailed descriptions of sexual interactions between two consenting adult men. For adult readers only.
Acknowledgments
A heartfelt thank-you to Amy for their expertise and support. Tanja, you are my rock in the stormy sea of wild words. Alex, thank you for reading and yelling. You keep me motivated.
Thank you, my self-publishing friends, for your never-ending kindness and support. I would never be able to make it without you!
I owe my deepest gratitude to every kind, generous person who invested their energy into reading my drafts and advanced review copies, and who listened to my whines with endless patience. Each and every one of you who reads, writes, publishes, promotes, and supports LGBTQ+ stories, thank you!
1 Meet Cute
Joakim put the blue sneaker back on the shelf and looked further down. Pink polka dots and skulls caught his eye. He imagined himself walking into one of the board meetings of Sandstrom Studios as their new investor in those shoes. A part of him wanted to do it. Sadly, he wasn’t a teenager anymore, so his final choice of sneakers would have to be more conservative. He took a few steps to the left and lifted the plain beige one again. The shoe looked boring but practical. It would have to do. He was about to turn and ask the shop assistant for his size to try them on when he almost fell over a toddler.
The girl had wispy blond hair, a pale, almost translucent face, and a spot of dry snot above her upper lip—like half of the kids in Gothenburg in the beginning of January. She looked up at him with big, blue eyes and open mouth.
“Hi,” Joakim said and smiled.
The toddler held a boot in her chubby arms and lifted it toward Joakim.
“Look!” she said.
The boot was a bright red Doc Martens, well worn but clean. Nothing this store sold. It was big, size 42 at least, and it looked heavy. The kid hugged the boot with both arms and squinted at Joakim.
“Pletty,” she said.
“Yeah, it’s a nice color. Where did you find it?” Joakim asked. The little girl shrugged and hugged the boot tighter to her chest.
Joakim chuckled. “Okay.”
He looked around and spotted a man who might be the father talking to the woman by the register. A blue buggy stood a few feet away, a pink jacket thrown into the seat.
“Is that your dad?” Joakim pointed at the guy by the register.
The kid nodded.
“Is this his boot?”
She shook her head.
“We should give it back to whomever it belongs, then. Where did you find it, ladybug?”
The kid shrugged again.
Joakim took a few steps to peek around another shelf…and saw him.
The man stood on one foot, the other braced against his knee, and looked around the store, frowning. Obviously, he was searching for a missing boot. He seemed perfectly balanced, comfortable in the odd, flamingo-like position, as he turned in a quarter of a pirouette, craning his long, graceful neck. Joakim stared and walked closer, his feet carrying him without his conscious command.
The man’s perfectly toned legs were wrapped in skin-tight black jeans, and he was wearing a dark gray sweater and a red beanie. Tufts of blond hair peeked out from underneath the hat. A silver ring on the side of the man’s perfectly straight nose flickered in the white lights of the store. Yes, the foot he balanced on was encased in a bright red, tall Doc Martens.
His eyes met Joakim’s. He blinked in confusion, and his lips parted. Joakim gasped. Full, pink, beautifully curved, the man’s lips were sensual and provocative yet so soft. Big, blue eyes with long blond lashes widened, and Joakim realized he was gaping like a creep.
“Found your boot,” he mumbled, his heart beating faster and palms suddenly sweaty.
The man looked him up and down and tilted his head as if Joakim was a strange new species in a zoo exhibit. Obviously, Joakim had no boot. The little girl had the boot. But where was she?
“Sorry. Wait a sec.”
He turned and spotted the toddler a few steps behind him, still cradling the big shoe like a prize.
“Hey, ladybug, come here. We should return the pretty boot, okay?”
She hung her head but nodded. She stepped slowly around Joakim, carried the boot forward, and put it on the floor next to the bench. The man smiled at her, and Joakim’s belly tightened.
Gorgeous. He was utterly, immeasurably gorgeous. That was how angels must have looked in the feverish minds of ancient prophets.
“Thank you,” he said in a soft, melodic voice and slid his left foot into the boot.
The girl nodded and abruptly took off toward her dad, not saying another word, leaving Joakim to stand there in mute embarrassment.
Not meeting Joakim’s eyes, the angel crouched down and began tying his boot. Joakim searched for something to say. Anything.
Come and have a coffee with me. Let me stare at your face for a few minutes longer. You are the single most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life. Will you let me fuck you? Will you marry me? Can I take a picture of your lips? I’m not crazy, I swear. Or… I’m crazy but harmless, promise. Can I buy you something? Ice cream? A horse? A car?
“Thank you,” the young man said quietly again as he stood. He quickly met Joakim’s gaze, gave a single nod, and smiled shyly, cheeks slightly pink. Then he picked up his black backpack from the bench next to him, turned, and walked out of the store.
Gone.
It took a minute, but finally, Joakim recovered enough to
check his watch. The board meeting would start in seven minutes, and he’d promised Joel he’d be there to support him. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. The image of the man with big, blue eyes and sensual lips remained etched onto his brain.
He walked out of the store and looked around. The street appeared reassuring somehow; the world was still turning, it seemed. Joakim’s phone buzzed in his pocket. It was Joel.
“Hi! I’m on my way,” Joakim said and picked up speed. The office of the auditing firm that was hosting the meeting was just a couple of blocks away.
“That’s great because I’m fucked. A tram broke down just in front of the tunnel.” Joel sounded distraught.
“Hey, my friend, it’s all good. How long until you’re there?”
“Fifteen minutes?”
“That’s absolutely no problem. I’ll entertain them.”
“Fuck, Joakim, the most important meeting of my life, and I’m late! I am never late!”
Joakim walked through the sliding door and nodded at the receptionist before heading up the stairs.
“Joel, it’s not the most important meeting of your life because you’ve barely started. You’re going to take over the world. I’ll be there in forty-five seconds and soften them up for you. I’m by far the most dangerous beast in that crowd, and you’ve already charmed me. You’re fine. Just walk in there like nothing’s happened. Do not apologize for being late and start the presentation directly, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good. Hanging up. You’ve got this.”
Joakim opened the door to the conference room and looked around the familiar faces.
“Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Joel Sandstrom has received a vital phone call, but he’ll be here in a few minutes. You have all read the contract draft, I presume. I would like to bring your attention to page seven.”
After a long, grueling day, Joakim came home late. It had rained, and his coat was wet. He hung it in the kitchen over the backrest of a chair, close to the heater. He showered, brushed his teeth, and went straight to bed. Half dead inside as he felt, he didn’t question his actions when his thumb automatically pressed on the Grindr icon. He thought about uninstalling the app again, but he was too mentally drained after a full day of back-to-back meetings. He didn’t fight the self-destructive habit.
Scrolling down mindlessly, he looked at faces, torsos, and naked backs, and an unpleasant visual of his father’s old Rolodex flashed through his mind. He wished he could just find someone to chat with and get off. Someone fun and uncomplicated to exchange a few messages, a few pics, jerk off, and forget. He only wanted to unwind enough to be able to fall asleep easily. Then he remembered it never worked like that. He was about to put the phone aside when he saw a familiar face.
Nose ring, full lips. Blond bangs. Joakim’s brain hiccuped and restarted. He opened the profile.
K_rose. Looking for friendship/relationship. Only single guys. Vers/bottom.
There was a link to Instagram.
Joakim switched to Instagram quickly and scrolled and clicked and scrolled and stared. He was mesmerized. Kevin was the angel’s name, and he was a professional dancer. Among pictures of travels, food, friends, and the streets of Helsinki, there were a few selfies. And there were videos. Dancing videos.
Joakim watched him perform on stage at the Helsinki opera house, just a thirty-second clip. Then he clicked on another, probably from a practice, the incredible body moving like water and wind, full lips parted in focus, lean, muscular arms, and perfect, round ass… Damn.
Another video. The caption read: Tried pole dancing with @natetheswede. Considered changing careers for about… thirty seconds. #majorfail
Joakim began chuckling out loud—not because Kevin was in any way ridiculous. He was graceful, incredibly strong, hanging upside down on the pole like it was nothing. But the way he laughed was simply infectious. Another guy showed him some kind of a turn around the pole, and Kevin tried to mimic him. He fell and began laughing. Joakim stared, hypnotized. Kevin was absolutely stunning when he laughed. He threw his head back and then curled into himself, his face shining like the sun, his whole body vibrating with joy, and he covered his mouth, shoulders shaking, as he scrambled back up from the mat. The video ended when he hugged his friend, still chuckling. Joakim pressed play again. He wished he could draw out all the life and joy from the screen. Kevin’s lips when he smiled, his eyes, the curve of his throat when he threw his head back…
Holy shit.
He watched all the videos he could find, stared at the selfies, read all the captions. Kevin used to live in Gothenburg, it seemed, but then he must have moved to Helsinki. Which meant he might have been back to Gothenburg for a short visit. Or maybe he’d moved back? Joakim checked the bio again. It said Helsinki.
Joakim sighed. He was out of luck. Again. He’d already imagined himself chasing after the dancer like some kind of a celebrity admirer. Yeah, right. Maybe it was just as well Kevin was unavailable. Knowing himself, Joakim would get in too deep too fast, make a fool of himself, and then realize the man was just a pretty package with nothing inside. Been there, done that.
However, he couldn’t wipe Kevin’s joyous laugh out of his mind. Neither could he ignore the way those eyes seemed to show things—open and sincere. Joakim was a firm believer that faces reflected people’s personality in a way that had nothing to do with conventional beauty measures. Kevin’s face was honest and kind.
After switching back to Grindr, Joakim typed before he could change his mind. He was ready to start taking risks again, dammit.
j-j-son: Hi Cinderella, you probably don’t remember me, but I found your boot earlier today. Then I saw you dance on Instagram. I know I’m probably out of luck, since you live in Helsinki. Are you in Gothenburg for a visit? Just wanted to tell you, you are altogether too lovely. I wish you could have been the one to save me from ever having to use Grindr again. Joakim
He closed the app and sighed, his mind spinning. It was just a lark. He saw a pretty boy and lost himself for a moment—an unimportant, meaningless little episode he’d forget in a week. But you can still see his face in your mind like a photograph. He groaned and rolled on his bed. So much for falling asleep easily.
It had been a long time since he’d allowed himself to reach out and take what he wanted for himself. He got used to being chased, enjoyed the attention, and got complacent. Lazy, even. And then he realized that the men who chased him rarely wanted him for him. Connections, prestige, money… Wrapped in his businesses, in research and politics, he’d only dated casually for the past few years, relying on old fuck buddies to let off steam. Hence, here he was, almost forty, single, and maybe even a little bitter.
Reaching for his phone again, half-frustrated, half-excited, he opened Instagram again. As he watched Kevin dance and laugh, a weak, irrational voice in his mind whispered that this time, things might be different.
2 Chasing
Joel Sandstrom & Tyler Jonsson
From February 2, 2020, until forever
Come and join us at the Nääs Castle at 2 pm.
We don’t care what you wear. Bring your loved ones.
Tyler was getting married.
Kevin had laughed out loud when he’d received the invitation back in November. Tyler Jonsson. Married. Kevin wouldn’t believe it, but the no-dress-code rule was so typical Ty. Yeah, it was true. The ultimate player and master of inappropriate propositions was getting married to some preppy businessman.
Kevin used to have a teeny tiny crush on Tyler. They had fucked a few times, but nothing serious. Tyler was a damned good top, just the right amount of kinky. They had met at one of the dance troupe parties and ended up in the pool house with Luke, back when Luke used to be Kevin’s hookup wingman. Tyler fucked him hard while Luke sucked him, and Kevin went home with Tyler after that. It had been a fabulous night—Kevin wouldn’t have minded experimenting more and seeing where it would have led them. But Tyler was the instant-gratif
ication type, or at least he used to be. He’d moved on before Kevin could get in too deep, which in hindsight had been lucky. They remained sort of friends, moving in the same circles, but hadn’t hooked up in years. Kevin was curious about the man who had managed to tie Tyler down.
Now it was January, the very middle of the long, gloomy winter, and the wedding invitation stuck to Kevin’s fridge was making him feel desolate. Even the unashamed king of casual threesomes had found his special someone. Kevin’s former roommate Luke had moved in with his partners—yes, plural—and it would take Kevin some time to wrap his head around that. Adam wasn’t married, but he might as well be, after years of domestic bliss with Christoffer. Even Nathan had been dating the same guy for six months now. All of Kevin’s friends were settling down, falling one by one like fucking dominoes.
And Kevin was back in Gothenburg in an empty apartment, as single as ever. Bring your loved ones. Well, unless Kevin brought his mom, he was coming to the wedding alone.
He had had a crazy schedule in Finland and the temporary contract looming above his head. Then during the first three months back in Gothenburg, he performed in a couple of new shows and two music video productions in Stockholm. As a result, he hadn’t dated at all for the past year and a half. He felt overworked and plain old lonely. The upcoming wedding rubbed it in.